The Fall. It's where it all started. Us. Separation. Feeling naked. I look at the world and see the hurt, the suffering, the destruction. I see my own life and I realize that it's not getting worse but ironically how it's been ever since that day in the garden.
It makes so much sense to me now. I see clarity where I once saw a mere story. Why do we were clothes? Our skin is more water proof than GORTEX! Yet, we have closets full. Without them we feel cold, shy, embarrassed, exposed and insecure. Fear arises.
In the bible it says that after the fall Adam and Eve realized they were naked and hid, covering themselves with leaves. This intrinsically explains our nature. Or do you have other idea why we need clothes?
Can you imagine? A huge, endless garden. The word garden is minuscule and doesn't do it justice. It was probably more like an amazon. I close my eyes, imagining, thinking about this guy, Adam, who was so miserably lonely, having to name all of the animals one by one (thats a lot of animals and a lot of time to be lonely), realizing that none were suitable mates. After all this, and by then I'm sure Adam had given up hope to find his best friend, he was given Eve. I think of their first date and laugh sardonically. Naked first of all, in this amazing place they call home. Finding love and comfort in each others eyes. How beautiful that they were made for each other. All amazed at God, at how much he loves them. Starring into each others eyes thinking ..."thank you, God. I'm in awe of what you've done and how loved I am by you. Thank you. Thank you."
Worship. In a garden. Love. Significantly powerful.
Knowing there's no sweeter love than the love you pour on me. Knowing there's no song sweeter than the song you sing to me. God sang in that garden. The thing was that Satan also knew how to sing. He is an angel, fallen, but still an angel. I imagine angels being created to sing, welcoming and rejoicing all those who call on the Lord. So when Adam and Eve were deceived and instantly realized they were naked, feeling all those feelings we feel, it changed them. Now their worth didn't just come from God. They wanted more. They wanted better. Were they bored? Did they have trust issues?
What did Adam think about Eve now? Was Eve balling her eyes out, her heart hurting, feeling broken, trying to mask her pain? Did she ask Adam to have some moonshine to forget what happened? Did Adam see her hurting, hurting himself because she is a part of him? He loves her but did he struggle to find words and just hold her? Did she think Adam wouldn't want to be with her and why can't she stop crying? Where was God? Why isn't he telling them he forgives them? Where's the music now?
Was it the next day? Eyes swollen and puffy from crying, feeling like a truck hit you from one too many home-made brewskies, that the sun was still shining like normal, birds still chirping. That in the stillness of the dawn, even though they felt separated from God, they thought, "your loves makes it worth it," remembering and clinging to the moments when they felt drenched in His love. Realizing that they have changed but God hasnt. Hope.
I picture Adam and Eve saying this sucks, this hurts but let's suffer well. Let's praise and worship God like we did when things were great. I imagine this worship. Feeling loved yet feeling broken. Love and pain. Did Adam realize he didn't glorify God like he deserved and now he praises Him for this because even though it hurts and sucks he is able to see more clearly. How can you know what is beautiful until you know what isnt beautiful, realizing now how beautiful their maker is, in awe of his splendor. Loving him because he is worthy ...this in turn, stirs up feelings and emotions of how things were. Feeling dumb that you traded God for something else and ended up empty, realizing that He is the only thing that truly satisfies us. That our worth comes from Him. That we don't have to be the best, the most popular, have the nicest car ...want whiter teeth, to be taller, skinner, pick the sweetest fruit ...that He loves us the way we are ...broken.
Would I love God the way I do if I wasn't aware of my brokenness, aware that I have to live from something more than myself? Because we're broken, we need a Savior. ONe that meets us right where we are and says "I know" and "I've been there" and "I love you."
Adam turns to Eve and says, "Wait, did you hear that?"
And Eve says, "What Adam? I know you have a problem hearing but what is it?"
"Shhhh, listen," says Adam with a smile creeping from the corners of his mouth.
And then she hears it. It's subtle. Something that was always there but she didn't realize it until now ...singing. As it echos through the moutains, rumbling the leaves, its synchronizing tunes with the earth seemingly taking part in the jubulation. It's Him and he's still singing the song of redemption.
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